PAIN!!! or Mind over Matter?

Mind over matter. We've all heard it said. Does it work? Guess we'll see....

A little background. This tired, visually impaired momma is in pain. Pain! That's all I can even think about anymore. Pain. For the past four-maybe five years, I've been from specialist to specialist. The pain becomes so severe. I was hospitalized to try to figure out the cause of this pain. Much to our dismay there's no 'real' known cause.

I think it began when I had a seemingly insignificant implant placed in my eye in December of '08. It was just supposed to release steroid periodically so that I didn't have to come have shots pierced into my eye every six weeks. Of course! Sign me up for that! Who wants to come get shots in their eye every six weeks--yes, the eye ball itself! Ugh!

Since then, something has been wrong. I don't know if that surgery was the 'straw that broke the camel's back' or what..... Al I know is, I've dealt with some sort of pain since then.

I'm now going to a new specialist. He's a nuerologist at a Pain Clinic. Between all of the other specialists (one who actually told me to see a psychiatrist) and this new doctor, I've tried almost everything there is to try for this type of facial pain. I started a couple new medications when I went to see him this past week. Here's hoping they'll help.

My husband is carrying the load around here. Most days he comes home to find me on the couch, holding my eye or face. Once again today, he had to take all four kids to church without me. I saw that look in his eyes. It was nothing against me. No anger, resentment, or ill-will. It was frustration and exhaustion. So today I decided I'm not letting the pain take over my life! I'm taking it back! This is no way to live. My husband needs me. My kids need me! We can't keep living this way. I'm taking it back. Mind over matter! Right? Can this really work. What if the matter has taken over your mind? Here's hoping it works!

Mind over matter.